IronMan Weymouth 2023 race report

Info

Date: 16.09.2023
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Distance:

Intro

In September 2023, I embarked on an adventure that tested not only my stamina but also the waterproof capabilities of everything I owned. Let me take you through the highs, the lows, and the soggy middles of the IronMan 70.3 Weymouth.

Goals

1. sub 5 hours – success (but the swim was cancelled)
2. sub 2.5 hours bike – failed (but it was wet)
3. 1h30mn run – failed

Results

• 04:16:26
• AG 10th
• Gender: 121st
• Overall: 124th

Friday Night: Parking with a View (But No Loo)

A clubmate and I arrived at our camping spot, ready to embrace the great outdoors. The view was breathtaking, a perfect prelude to the race, except for one small oversight—no toilets. Luckily, I was carb-loading and not bran-loading. We managed a pasta dinner and an absurdly early night because who needs nightlife when you have a triathlon to fret about?

Saturday: A Morning Run and the Great Bike Exodus

After an early morning run to wake up legs that were frankly more interested in more sleep, we headed for registration at one end of town, only to find out bike racking was on the complete opposite side. Note to self and others: Weymouth is not minor and more significant than your race anxiety.
A special shoutout to the car owner’s rooftop bike rack. Remember some of Weymouth’s car park height limits for anyone considering this setup. They turn “rooftop bike transport” into “impromptu bike launch.” We witnessed a bike reenacting E.T. with less flying and more crashing.
The day ended with a pub treat because, let’s face it, if you’re going to suffer, do it with a belly full of good food. Another early night beckoned because who needs a pub crawl when you can have a pre-race panic instead?

Sunday: Thunder, Lightning, and the Great Swim Cancellation

Race morning greeted us not with a peaceful dawn but a thunderstorm that had apparently mistaken the swim start for a rock concert. After taking shelter with several other lycra warriors, the organisers pulled the plug on the swim. It was too dangerous, they said, as if half-drowning in the English Channel was part of the plan.

Bike Like the Wind, If You Can See It

With no swim, we were herded towards a rolling bike start. Imagine waiting in line at Thorpe Park, but in tighter clothing and more anxiety. The 90km bike leg was less about the scenic views and more about wondering if I needed windshield wipers for my visor. Descending a hill in blinding rain made me question all my life choices up to that point.
Transition 2 was smooth, except I lost precious seconds contemplating life in a portaloo. The run was wet, but the spectators were the real MVPs (ed. Most Valuable Player), cheering us on and probably wondering why anyone would do this for fun.

Finish Line Feels and Retail Therapy

When I crossed the finish line, I felt relief and confusion. My first cycle/run event timing felt like a mystery wrapped in a riddle, swaddled in soggy race gear. Opting to plant a tree instead of getting a finisher t-shirt was a good idea. Still standing there freezing, I questioned my eco-friendly motives.
The post-race food was a letdown—think school cafeteria, but less gourmet.
I spent nearly £100 on merch to stay warm, which lightened my wallet and slightly darkened my mood.

The Award Ceremony That Never Ends

We stayed for the awards, which I recommend if you have not attended one. It lasted longer than some marriages. I was initially seventh in my age group when my wife texted me to congratulate me, but ending tenth once all the competitors crossed the line. With three slots for the World Championships up for grabs, they went down to seventh place. I missed it by less than 4 minutes and said goodbye to New Zealand.

Finish Line Feels and Retail Therapy

When I crossed the finish line, I felt relief and confusion. My first cycle/run event timing felt like a mystery wrapped in a riddle, swaddled in soggy race gear. Opting to plant a tree instead of getting a finisher t-shirt was a good idea. Still standing there freezing, I questioned my eco-friendly motives.
The post-race food was a letdown—think school cafeteria, but less gourmet.
I spent nearly £100 on merch to stay warm, which lightened my wallet and slightly darkened my mood.

Final Thoughts

If you ever want to test your fitness and waterproof gear, IronMan 70.3 Weymouth is your race. Despite the chaos, it was an unforgettable experience, and I learned lessons in racing and life. For example, always pack a spare hoodie; to qualify for the IM 70.3 WC, it’s best to finish in the top spot.

TIME CHIP

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